Marie

I left my home a year ago and found myself in South Dakota. I had this vision quest that guided me to the reservation. Being mixed blood, I was worried I would not be accepted. Some people say that the reasons Indians die to the bottle is because their Red Blood had never been tainted by alcohol before the white man (wasichu) - so they never built up a tolerance to it like the English or Spanish. It's a hard thing to see. When I was younger, I used to declare my ultimate desire to visit the Pine Ridge Reservation - it's legendary - that reservation is more written about than any other. Elders would tell me, "You don't wanna go there. It's worse than you could even imagine - it's hard living - it's like a third world country." I think that just made me want to go even more. In my mind I imagined rescuing all of them. The People. That's the vision I can't let go of. The Vision Quest Ceremony is one during which a person beseeches to the Great Spirit (Wakan Tanka) to show him or her a vision of purpose. A life path that will ultimately help the entire tribe. I always knew coming here would be my last stop. I'm needed here - and I'm helpful to the people. Of course it's hard living - but it feels right. When I look at all the living species and watch how hard it is for them - they are always at the hands of Mother Earth. The White Road is one of ease, security, and comfort. And just as I know how nice that feels, I know that walking the Red Road has taken me back to the Earth Mother - and I can feel her from the beginning of time - like the sacred rocks (inyan wakan).